Feb 23, 2023

 Feb 23, 2023

     Well, I missed almost a week. Getting sick SUCKS! But I am back with thousands of thoughts in my head. So the latest on the crap that was happening with the last scam. I am glad I figured it out before I did anything stupid lol. So I sat and waited for the "check" to disappear. And as suspected, it did this morning. They charged me a $5 return check, but the bank gave it back to me since I had contacted them and explained everything. The ways people will scam to get money. Hubby contacted the places, giving them the info we had. At this point, there really isn't anything else we can do about it. I put it back up for sale with "CASH ONLY! PICKUP ONLY! NO GOOGLE VOICE CODES! CALL FOR ADDRESS!" on the top of the messages. To say the least no contact this time like last time, haha. 

     Next up, there are so many people that have come and gone in my life that I want to talk about. Some good experiences but mostly bad experiences. I had to learn the hard way. I will be jumping from one person to another often. It all depends on my head at the time. Like we have the recent ex, Thelma, boy is she a piece of work, ex-friend who, in the end, claimed I was trying to control them, but actually scammed me of thousands. By the way, I say scammed bcs I thought I was helping them when they were just using me. Ex-kid in a virtual world that had everyone believing them, and boy was I convinced and fell into every trap, but in the end, be accused of doing something I didn't. That's the 3 most recent ones. Then, of course, there was when I was a teen, in my 20s and 30s, when I met the old man. And let us not forget getting permission to talk about what happened with my mom and what she did that influenced my kids and me as we grew up. 

     No one is perfect. And during some recent talks I and EC had with my mom, she realizes now that what happened to her, and the hold she had BCS of it, ended up causing many issues. Let's go back a bit ok... 

     When my mom was a teenager, she was molested by one of her step-fathers. For many years she never said anything. BCS she believed him when he said that her mom would kick her out if she knew. You know the manipulations. She endured this for many years. Impressionable teen losing her virginity to a "father figure" and being told her mom won't believe her anyways and will get rid of her. Yeah, how great is that? Now you got to think this was the early 60s. So that should tell you TONS! Anyways, BCS OF THIS... She swore she would only have 1 marriage, and that was IT!

     Fast forwards many years. She married the guy that is my sperm donor... I mean father lol... Ok ok... Don't blame me he wasn't around, and when I did find him at 18 he still didn't want much to do with me, but that's for another day... They were married like 6 years, I think, and she ended up having me. (Only child, I mean, hell, they told her she couldn't have kids, lolol). And one day, she came home to find rings of smoke dancing around my head, so she left and moved in with my grandma and then divorced him. Well, when she won the car in the divorced, she found out he had been cheating on her anyways through "love cards" -.- ... but anyways... 

     Due to what happened to her, she would not date anyone. She would not have any social life at all. And it got worse after my grandmother passed when I was 10 bcs it became just her and me. I had no father figure to tell me what to look for and not look for. I had my uncle, but he had his own life. He really didn't have time to keep up with me, lol.  And worse of all, I would hear about all the horror stories of what happened and why she wanted no social life. Well, that made me WANT to find a guy to love me.... yeah BTW, that is not the right reason to find love. 

     Of course, 20 years later, she did the same thing to my kids, and it had the opposite effect, at least on my oldest... EC did not trust any guy until I got with the old man. Now, of course, as far as they are concerned, He is their "REAL" dad. Hell, you would think they were blood the way they act, lol.

      The sad part is, if she was taken care of when she was a kid, things could have turned out so much differently for everyone and the future. But she was made to hold it in bcs of other family members. Even after my grandma knew. It wasn't that my grandma was a bad person. She just didn't know any better. She did kick him out immediately though, and believed my mom. So that was good. Just my mom never got the help she needed. And as the years went on, she got to the point she was to scared to bcs she was scared what else was hiding behind everything else that she couldn't remember. I don't blame her for it now. But we did need to talk about it. She could understand the impact it had on me and EC. And I believe with my heart we did have a breakthrough. So that was really good :) 

     It is another reason she gave me permission to talk about it. There is so many people out there that don't know, even to this day, what to do. You are never to old to get help, to talk to someone. There is a reason there is the #METOO movement after all. 

    Till next time <3 <3 <3