Feb 13, 2023

 Feb 13, 2023

     Wow, It gets better by the day. So I should have mentioned last night what I wrote her back. I started off with the whole 1., 2., 3. thing, but in each, I mentioned a diff item. For instance, I am canceling future videos with her (we had virtual pregnancies that I was recording) along with other attributes. Then I mentioned I was not trying o be aggressive, That I simply got upset by the statement of her being able to have whoever she wanted. I felt she was saying I never allowed it, which was not true. Next, I mentioned that never once had I tried to control her, and if she felt I had, please let me know so I could correct it. That as far as I knew, the only time there was any control over her was when her Dom had control which she ALLOWED by the rules set within the relationship. Now, I know I am jumping ahead, So tomorrow I will explain more on that one. But for now, if she felt I had been, then I wanted to know so I could correct it. And lastly, I will no longer be told I am being passive-aggressive when I am trying to explain my feelings. And for these reasons, I felt we needed to take a step back and take a break and not talk for a little bit. I told her that for now, I was walking away so we can both breathe. That I did love her, but I loved myself more. 

     WEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL, I did not hear from her again last night. But today I found her calling card in my trash can on both my business avie and my main avie. I let it go and figured she did it in a "frenzy", noticed she took me out of her pics too. lol. So the day went on, and about 5-6 hours later I guess it was, not thinking anything about it, I logged the hubby's avie in. All of a sudden I got "permissions revoked and the calling card in his trash can, and on her profile, like my main it said "unknown" so that means she blocked them. Oh the fun has begun I guess. I than looked and realized that she removed me from discord, out of her server, her BF removed me from his friends' list (who knows what lies she told), and she removed herself from the groups we were in together. She blocked me on Facebook as well. So I got on every avie I could, and I found 2 she had not deleted yet, I deleted her from their friends' list and blocked her. Figured I would help. 

     The reason this is all bad is this was the third time she was allowed back into our lives. I believed with all my heart she had changed. I got the hubby to believe it, but when she lied repeatedly, he pulled away. If only her RL boyfriend knew the truth. But I am not that vindictive. And yes, I know I could be. I have enough proof. But what good would it do? It is not going to suddenly give me "peace of mind". And he knew she was in the triad with hubby and me from the get-go. He had to meet us before they went out, yet he still asked her on their second date to be his RL girl. And she said yes and lied to us for over a month. So yeah, what point is there. That is the reason why I am writing now. To get it out and then put it in a box, close it up, and go to the next memory or situation that needs to be put away. I have so many of them. 

     In the past, I left 1 avie open for her to get in touch with me, BCS I always worried about what was she doing how was she doing. But this time. It is different. I am different. In future days I will tell you what Thelma did the first 2 times that really hurt me to the core of who I was. Honestly, though, I am happy this time. It will take a bit to care for all my movies but in the end, I will be happy again :D