Feb 9, 2023

 Feb 9, 2023

     I don't even know where to start from day to day. Heck, half the time, I just talk in my own head. It seems to work. But not really that is when depression and all the other mental illnesses creep in. So I guess that is an excellent place to start. For starters, I won't be able to say everything I want in one day by any means. We are talking about years and years of stuff. Mental, physical, and all that fun jazz.

     So to start, I have depression, age regression, PTSD, ADD (or known as ADHD Predominantly Inattentive Presentation), BPD, and schizoaffective disorder with Auditory Hallucinations. That is just the mental issues. The physical issues include chronic pain in the knees and back, blood pressure, RLS, multiple hernias that just get to float there bcs I am obese, have no teeth, and diabetes, and I'm sure there is more, but that is what I can remember off hand without losing my mind.

     So not the best. LOL. I did have the weight loss surgery, but due to some RL issues and the nice mental issues over the past 2 years, I got stuck in a rut and did not lose much, I am back on track bcs I am determined to kick its ass. Hubby is working on it as well. We haven't had the best of years last few. For me, it was both virtual and real life. And for him, it was bcs I brought it "in the home." What I mean by that is whatever happens to me affects him. So when not everything necessarily happened inside our physical home. But if it happened to me. Then it happened to us. 

     The one thing I have to say is I am lucky to have a husband and a kid that I do. I have screwed up so many, many times, and they forgive me over and over. I know people say, "I'm sure they do too." And no one is perfect. They do mess up. But NOTHING like I have. The drama and the crazy I have brought into our lives are insane. The crazy I brought into my life pre-move to Pa is crazier. Which I will be talking about that as well. I mean, again, I have a lot in my head. And I sure as hell didn't get here just because of Penn State -.- 

     BTW, names will get changed. Both from Tx, Pa, and Online. It would get a little messy trying to constantly say "they" or "them" on EVERYONE. So I will just find random names. As far as I am concerned, most people will be Ace unless it is needed to be male or female. Then and only then will a "name" be given for the "right" sex. But is there really a "Right" sex hahahahah.