Feb 23, 2023

 Feb 23, 2023

     Well, I missed almost a week. Getting sick SUCKS! But I am back with thousands of thoughts in my head. So the latest on the crap that was happening with the last scam. I am glad I figured it out before I did anything stupid lol. So I sat and waited for the "check" to disappear. And as suspected, it did this morning. They charged me a $5 return check, but the bank gave it back to me since I had contacted them and explained everything. The ways people will scam to get money. Hubby contacted the places, giving them the info we had. At this point, there really isn't anything else we can do about it. I put it back up for sale with "CASH ONLY! PICKUP ONLY! NO GOOGLE VOICE CODES! CALL FOR ADDRESS!" on the top of the messages. To say the least no contact this time like last time, haha. 

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Feb 17, 2023

Feb 17, 2023 

     OMG!!!! If it is not one thing, it is another. I have sold 2 TVs identical to the one I am trying to sell now. I have also sold many other large items without any issues. But this TV, like, damn it... I have idiots or scam me all over. The good thing is I catch on before I go thru with anything fully, so there is no money out on my end. Lord knows I can't afford that. But First, I had someone try and scam me with Zelle... telling me they would Zelle me the payment. Now I don't know much about Zelle other than a friend Zelle'd my money, and 2 days later I had 5 fraud charges come out of my account -.-. I got them all covered and closed Zelle. i did give it another chance so they could pay me land fees and this time I had 0 issues. So I was glad about that, but once they stopped, I shut Zelle down as I did not trust it. 

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Feb 16, 2023

 Feb 16, 2023

     Another day for doctor appointments, which means another long drive. Today we talked about the ex-roommate and their "cleaning habits" and stuff like that. I had been going through pictures from my phone and came across some of her room. Now, let's start with EVERYONE in my house is disabled in some form or another. Only myself is currently not classified as such through the state or government. You already know my issues; hubby has a lot of physical issues, which make it so that he is not supposed to be doing much around the house. He is also on meds that make him tired and you never know when he will pass out. The kid, on the other hand, has mental disabilities that make it hard for them to function in real-world society. Even in the household. The ex-roommate, like myself, had a bit of both. 

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Feb 15, 2023

Feb 15, 2023

     Today was an appointment day. Which means long talks in the car to and from the appointment. Well, more like to and halfway from, lol. The old man always falls asleep about halfway to 2/3rds point. It's cute, though, because he tries so hard not to. But it gives us time to talk about a lot of subjects. Well sometimes. Sometimes we are stuck on one. Just depends on the day and the subject. 

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Feb 14, 2023

 Feb 14, 2023

HAPPPPPPPPPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

     Now that THAT is out of the way lol.... Let's talk about relationships. I promised yesterday... ok I did not promise but I did say I would tell yall tomorrow so I am. :) 

     About the Dom thing. The hubby is also my Daddy Dom. We are also polyamorous. Please don't get that confused with polygamous. We are NOT that. We believe in multiple loves, NOT multiple marriages. I am bisexual and enjoy multiple partner sexual encounters. Always have. This is something Hubby and I discussed from the get-go before we were even dating. I am also domineering, but I am NOT Dominant. That is the husband's forte. So this is how Thelma ended up in the relationship. She also is bisexual. Now, let's make one thing very clear. My husband has a great deal of respect for me. He knows I also have a jealous streak at times. We also know that there are females that will try and get in that do not want me, but then there are guys who will try and get in that will NOT respect him. If either thing happens, they are OUT. All members that come in have to want and be part of my husband's and my relationship and understand he is the Dom. Which means everyone else is submissive. There is not another Dom in our lives unless he is training one like he was trained. 

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Feb 13, 2023

 Feb 13, 2023

     Wow, It gets better by the day. So I should have mentioned last night what I wrote her back. I started off with the whole 1., 2., 3. thing, but in each, I mentioned a diff item. For instance, I am canceling future videos with her (we had virtual pregnancies that I was recording) along with other attributes. Then I mentioned I was not trying o be aggressive, That I simply got upset by the statement of her being able to have whoever she wanted. I felt she was saying I never allowed it, which was not true. Next, I mentioned that never once had I tried to control her, and if she felt I had, please let me know so I could correct it. That as far as I knew, the only time there was any control over her was when her Dom had control which she ALLOWED by the rules set within the relationship. Now, I know I am jumping ahead, So tomorrow I will explain more on that one. But for now, if she felt I had been, then I wanted to know so I could correct it. And lastly, I will no longer be told I am being passive-aggressive when I am trying to explain my feelings. And for these reasons, I felt we needed to take a step back and take a break and not talk for a little bit. I told her that for now, I was walking away so we can both breathe. That I did love her, but I loved myself more. 

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Feb 12, 2023

 Feb 12, 2023

So for today all I can say is WOW! 

     It is kinda amazing how each day there is something else happening. Either my head or right out there in the open. Well today was right in the open. 

     My ex, Thelma, and I recently broke up. We had a virtual relationship. (Yes the husband approved, that is for another day). But for today, I was talking to her and I casually mentioned that I noticed she wasn't coming to the land anymore. (BTW, I am not dumb. There are ALWAYS 2 sides to the story: my version. Their version. The middle) (I can only give my side as I have the logs to back me up. ANYWAYS!) They told me that is bcs because they had gotten their own land. Ok, that is completely fine. It's their right. Not like she had paid me a single dime lol and she had not been on the land in 3 weeks. So I asked them to come to get their prim babies bcs I was going to pick up the virtual house I had laid out as I did not need something that huge anymore if it is just me with 1 prim baby and my toddler avie (which btw is myself anyways). She was never there to care for hers anyways. 

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Feb 11, 2023

 Feb 11, 2023

     Today was a day. This morning I set up a sale for a TV of mine. And I got caught up almost in a scam. The person wanted to send me the money on Zelle. Now being a person who has not used Zelle often, I am not familiar with the rules. So I stupidly agreed. Also, being half asleep did not help. He sends the money, and it comes back with some weird thing about being limited. I was so confused. So he sent another 275 and got pushy for me to send it back to him. At least, this is where I smartened up. I reported him for a scam and blocked him bcs he kept pushing me repeatedly. 

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Feb 10, 2023

 Feb 10, 2023

      The thoughts go from Texas to Pa and what I was vs. what I became to what I am now.  I remember back in Tx, I knew I had depression. That has never been an issue. Though I never would see a doctor, not after what happened when I was a kid. Will explain that in a sec. I didn't trust a therapist or psychiatrist. But that is part of "being in my head," I guess I was good with it. And the BPD, I thought, was normal. How was I supposed to know that the way the voices talk to me isn't quite as normal as I made it out to be, lol? But it is why I always had multiple accounts everywhere. One in the name of Teddie, Rose, MotorMouth, etc. There was ALWAYS a Rose, almost always a Teddie. The rest would change. It was how I cooped. I put the different "me's" in each one. I would run them at the same time, so I could deal with myself. It was not till later did I start REALLY explaining this to people in this manner. I guess I did not want people to think I was "crazy." 

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Feb 9, 2023

 Feb 9, 2023

     I don't even know where to start from day to day. Heck, half the time, I just talk in my own head. It seems to work. But not really that is when depression and all the other mental illnesses creep in. So I guess that is an excellent place to start. For starters, I won't be able to say everything I want in one day by any means. We are talking about years and years of stuff. Mental, physical, and all that fun jazz.

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Feb 8, 2023 Warning

 Feb 8, 2023

Warning: Future entries will disclose many details of my past, including people of my past. I will not name the people specifically, but when it is read, if you know me or the situation you will know who I am talking about. 

I would say I am sorry, but this is/was my life and I know that many of these people have talked about me in FULL name both REAL and/or VIRTUAL. I will give the courtesy to NOT say the name REAL/VIRTUAL. 

Many people will have opinions on what I write. I may hurt people. I may anger people. I may do damage to current relationships. But, I have had enough on my mind that I am choosing to do this. This will include videos and pics. Both Real and Virtual. 

Enjoy the Ride! 

Love  Chaotic Rose 

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